


Follow You

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fallen Angels, M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, One-Sided Attraction, Uncertainty, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-24 00:09:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1584491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ficlet about the angel minion that Cas describes as "stuffy" in Episode 9.21.</p><p>He admires Castiel as a leader, but misses the days when angels were all connected. He also doesn't like it when his great leader deals with dangerous sorts like the Winchesters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Follow You

Castiel is a good leader to follow. He is strong, and he strikes fear into his enemies. 

He tells us that we should not follow him blindly, that we must all learn to think for ourselves instead of obeying him. Most of us promise that we will try and then await orders. In this way, I suppose he has gotten us to exercise some small disobedience. Perhaps it is the result of our being trapped in weak human bodies.

I assist our leader in anything he needs. I say nothing when he talks of peace, of killing as few of our kind as possible. I even say nothing when he constantly puts himself – and thus all of us – at risk. Going off on missions without telling us where he is going. Meeting with those Winchesters, who kill angels and demons both, trusting them as if they, and not us, are his brothers. 

I say nothing, but I can’t help hesitating just a little when he orders me to leave him be, when he acts as if nothing could possibly be wrong. I suppose this is my way of thinking for myself. I wonder if this is why he tolerates my insolence.

We all miss the days when we could communicate wordlessly. Our thoughts must be shared in such small, human ways. Words, pictures, gestures. I especially miss having a leader who could know my thoughts.

Castiel has adjusted to these human bodies better than the rest of us. Probably because of his strength and courage and wisdom. I am not adjusting to mine well at all.

I feel need often. Hunger, thirst, cold, heat, exhaustion. And lust, of course. The most useless of feelings.

I find myself thinking of our great leader sometimes. I grasp at the parts on this human flesh, thinking of him, imagining him close to me, imagining him reaching into my mind and controlling me, knowing me utterly, until my body spends its useless substance and I am no longer going mad with need. 

After, I go back to work. I always look at my leader, trying to discern from his gaze if he knows what I have been thinking about. 

I don’t think he knows. But I wonder, constantly, when I should be focusing on the mission, what my leader would do with me if he knew.


End file.
